Brace Yourselves for Mothers Day

As you will soon tell, I’m already cranky about Mother’s Day. I am not really a fan of the ‘holiday’ much in the same way I hate Valentine’s Day. Pinterest-perfect expectations that wind up making you feel that if your family / husband / partner / kids don’t plan this elaborate thing with epic gifts you are somehow not a good mom. Or at least not as good as other moms.

While I’m grumpy about the day, I’m not in the least bit ungrateful for my family or any effort they make on made-up holidays like this. They are great to me every single day and are always showing and telling me how appreciative they are of me (yes, my kids even love and appreciate my crazy Minecraft parody song karaoke dance-off’s). Mother’s Day has been artificially bloated to make you (edit: ME) feel that we should be getting flowers, breakfast in bed, spa trips, etc. and seems to pit moms against each other in competition. I will need to be off things like Facebook and Twitter for the weekend or I will fall into the trap of watching “everyone else” (not really, but it seems like it) having the HOLIDAY OF ALL HOLIDAYS while I’m driving all over New Jersey in a minivan and no makeup.

This is what it boils down to for me. The “selfish mom” wish list in my head or the “crazy normal mom” stuff that I am actually doing this Mother’s Day weekend.

Selfish Mom:

  • Long weekend spa trip someplace warm
  • A bathing suit that doesn’t look frumpy
  • Tropical cocktails (which works against the bathing suit)
  • Multiple cheese plates (which works against the bathing suit)

Normal Mom:

  • Cleaning
  • Laundry
  • Several work-related projects
  • My daughter’s school play (two nights)
  • A birthday party my son was invited to
  • Doctor’s appointments
  • Cooking without an oven
  • Shopping for a gift for MY mom for Mother’s day
  • Working with my kids on their homework projects
  • Having my brother over for a few nights (and trying to get my 6 year old to sleep in my home office on the futon)
  • An overnight trip to NYC to go pick up some furniture my brother can’t use in his new apartment

Most of that stuff falls on Saturday. I don’t even want to go to sleep tonight (Friday) because I know what the next day will be like. We don’t dare go out on Sunday for brunch (or dinner) because the entire country does that and it is always a stressful madhouse. My oven is still broken so I am very limited on what I can make in my own kitchen. This upcoming weekend happens to be Mother’s Day but it also happens to be very, very busy even for a normal weekend.

A lot of moms will come forward and say they get the same (non) treatment for Mother’s Day, and may even try to one-up each other on how shitty their holiday is. Other moms will do the passive / aggressive thing and proclaim how they too suffer as this year they only got a three day stay at a spa resort instead of a week. Some moms, much like honey badgers, don’t care.

One thing I DO know is that the moms that don’t have the ability to be with their kids on Mother’s Day or during the year, for whatever reason, are the exact people that need love and attention the most this Sunday. And, even though the holiday isn’t celebrated there, my heart sinks for the moms missing their daughters in Nigeria.

You know what? Suddenly I don’t mind my schedule this weekend at all…