It’s been five or six weeks now and I’m down 10 pounds from where I started.  Not bad, but still about 20 pounds more to go.  Now when I tell you “I am solid” don’t laugh! At my start weight (and size 12) I registered as obese on the BMI scale.  Losing 30 pounds will amount to a size 6-8 when all is said and done.  Not too shabby, but the question is –when the hell can I eat an entire chocolate cake!?–

Just as my last post indicated, I felt like a million bucks after I kicked the sugar craving.  I’m still not eating sugar or white foods (flours, grains, pastas, potatoes) – but have added in back a few starchy veggies like carrots or corn from time to time.  To be honest, at this point I”m a bit afraid to add back in fruits and breads.  I feel better, probably look better, and have more energy (outside of the killer cold/allergies I’ve got).  WHY in the world would I add back in sugar?  I think that’s staying out of my diet, but except for one or two times a month when a scoop of ice cream or piece of cake is in order.  Still on the fence about grains – whole grain, whole wheat, no bleached flour – there is a lot to learn before I make a decision.

One thing I hadn’t though of was how I’m going to deal with changing sizes and not investing too heavily in transition clothes.  My closet was cleaned out years ago of all single-digit jeans and skirts.  All I have left is my current size clothing.  Scratch that, I now have a closet full of “old” size clothing.  I just realized today I have been walking around picking up my pants from falling every 34.6 seconds and it’s annoying.  Besides, I can’t very well go around in professional clothing with the backside of my trousers sagging down.  Belts don’t seem to help either.  Yes, they hold my pants up, but there is also a huge gathering of material gaped up all over.  Not very attractive.  I have never shopped at a second hand shop (trust me, the clothing I purchase is cheap/inexpensive enough as it is…) but I think some research and a shopping trip is in my future.  Not sure if the clothes I just outgrew are decent enough to sell on consignment.  Thinking back to where I buy my clothes and the fact I keep them until 1) they fall apart 2) they are stained beyond help or 3) don’t fit any longer – I couldn’t face the rejection of the shop owner when they don’t want my wardrobe.  Goodwill it is!  The fact of the matter is, I hate to spend money on clothes.  HATE IT.  High end clothes shopping for me is Target or Kohl’s.  On sale.  Post season.

How am I going to survive not only foregoing a chocolate cake binge, but having to revamp my wardrobe three times on the way to my healthy size and weight?  The stress of that alone is enough to make me just want to eat a dozen bagels and call it a day.