I think this is the very first moment I’ve had to myself in seven days. I should be running the vacuum, but instead I’m typing this. Apparently the kids won’t let me out of their line of sight anyway. Kidlette has 10 whopping days off for Spring Break. I’m tired. I’m grinding my teeth again in my sleep. NOTHING on my to-do list got done this week. She had a great week though, and I enjoyed doing it for her. It was non-stop kid activities 24/7. Somehow we even managed a few family dinners around the kitchen table.

Mornings this past week were supposed to be for Kidlette activities and afternoons for me to attain Domestic Goddess status. Our family hasn’t had a vacation in three years, and I really wanted to give her some sort of ‘normal’ spring break. To keep from sitting around the house, I jumped in to the mom club activities head first this past week – bumper bowling, two indoor playrooms, a magic show, bookstores & pizza lunch buffet.

The plan this week was to turn our unused formal living room into a kids play area. What used to be a playroom (extra bedroom) upstairs needs to be recycled into Kidlette’s new bedroom so we can move her brother into the one she’s in now. It has a Winnie The Pooh style mural on the wall that is better suited to an infant than a 1st grader. Jack is in his crib on the other side of our room, and as much as I love him, it’s time for that bachelor to get his own pad.

I got as far as clearing out some old clothes I threw in the living room and bagged them up. I put them right by the front door to remind myself to call Goodwill to donate them. Instead I exit the house via the garage to avoid the pile. The rest of the to-do list is buried someplace in my purse along with grocery receipts and empty snack bar wrappers. I don’t feel productive at all. No goals attained, no checks on the checklist.

Do stay at home mom’s EVER freakin’ get a break? This stinks. Where the hell is my overtime pay, vacation days, and assistant? I just realized this week that I am, in fact, a *stay at home* mom, regardless if I work from home or not. I’m not sure I like the feeling of that at all. I worked years on a career and networking, and a whole lot of crappy jobs and shitty bosses to get ahead. Now I’m wrestling an infant to change dirty diapers and hiding Easter candy from an over-sugared 6 year old. My husband is at a client all day today and will be working in his home office for most of tomorrow. It’s all on me. Every day. All day. I love my kids more than ANYTHING, but holy shit this sucks!

Kidlette: Look at me! Look at me twirl!!!
Baby: WAAAAAA (look at me!)
Kidlette: I’m hungry. Again. I want chocolate. Again.
Baby: PUKE.
Kidlette: Look at meeeeeeeeeeeee!
Baby: Fill diaper. Change me. Smile. Feed me. Cry. Repeat.

Yes, I’m whining. I’m allowed dammit.

[tags]SAHM, WAHM, stay at home mom, work at home mom[/tags]