Today I opted parenthood and an empty wallet over attending Jeff Pulver’s Social Media Breakfast. I was bummed about it, but it needed to be done. Kidlette has a nasty cavity in a molar that can’t even be filled, it needs a silver cap. How did that happen? We have no idea, but it happened in about a month. She’s on antibiotics and has to go in first thing tomorrow to get it filled/capped. Two days off of school to boot.
So this morning we pull into the dentist, and there are like 20 cars in the parking lot. Strange to me, since I’ve only ever been to dentists that have 7 chairs in the waiting room and 2 exam rooms. In the waiting room there are kids video games and a floor-to-ceiling playhouse with a slide. My wallet cringes. Every kid that comes out of the office is all smiles (laughing gas I suspect…) and has a balloon in one hand and a baggie with toys, toothbrush and toothpaste in the other. Every stinkin’ one of them wants to come back tomorrow. Ah, so they ARE brainwashing the kids with laughing gas.
When it’s our turn, we get pulled into a private consultation room, where the tech explains to us about the exam, cleaning, etc. Then we get shown the exam room (parents are encouraged to let their kids go in on their own). It’s a 4-chair open room corral with flat screen TV’s, games, and toys to play with. My wallet starts to weep. (There is an adult exam room set up very similar, but without the games – just more TV’s in HD – an electric guitar signed by Bruce Springsteen, and lots of signed sports stuff.)
Oh, did I mention that on the way to the kids room, there was a built-in glass walled cage that had TWO LIVE MONKEYS in it? No wonder all the balloons the kids had had a picture of a monkey on it. Why the hell would a dentist office have two live monkeys??? I think it’s there as a warning to the kids, not sure for what though. Anyway, the monkeys were a huge hit and all the kids there were happy as clams during their procedures because they got to look at monkeys. I wonder what is in a cage by the adult room? If it’s Bruce, I’m scheduling an appointment.
Did I mention this whole ordeal is costing us over $600? For ONE TOOTH that will fall out when she’s 11-12 years old. Xrays, fluoride, cleaning, blah blah blah. She needs it, so we pay for it. The bill is itemized, and I didn’t see *monkey food* on it at all.
PS – The dentist is Hamilton Dental in Hamilton NJ for those of you that want to know.