A few years back when this whole ‘new social media’ was starting up, I was right there in the thick of things. Hell, I’ve been blogging for almost 9 years. I tend to catch tech in it’s infancy and jump in for the ride. When podcasting started up, I was in it too. It was an ‘easy’ thing to do isolated in my house with a pre-schooler. Now it’s starting to go full-circle and face to face meetups are more frequent, and actually fairly local to me. Last year when I was pregnant, I tried to ‘get out’ as much as I could – New Media Expo and two Podcamps (Philly/NYC), as well as a scrapbooking weekend out. I even got out to see my favorite band when I was 4 months pregnant. I was sort of saving it up because I knew in 2008 I’d be off the market and home with an infant and a 1st grader. I thought I could handle it knowing I got to go to some pretty amazing events last year.

I’m not okay with it. It SUCKS.

I don’t have anyplace to go, and even when I do, I can’t go (I had to miss Jeff Pulver’s Social Media Breakfast and the New Media Meetup this week). My son is 3.5 months old and breastfed, so I can’t go anywhere where I can’t bring him. Which limits almost everything but grocery shopping. I’m not a soccer mom or playdate mom type of gal, and don’t have anyone ‘local’ that I can hang with or hit the mall or lunch with. I’ve got plenty of ‘friends’ online, but I can’t even get out of my house and meet them when the opportunity comes up, because I’m stuck at home with kids. It SUCKS and I know that’s selfish of me. I feel guilty about any little thing that I want to do for myself. IT SUCKS.

My life this week has been nothing but doctors visits, dentist visits, and veterinary visits. The hour I spent over the weekend sitting at the nail salon made me feel even worse – an hour I could be doing SOMETHING for my family or cleaning the house. Plus, everyone there seemed to be chatting with a girlfriend about going shopping or out for the night. And not 21 year olds, women my age or older even.

What the hell happened to me?