…and going to the diner (Jersey diners *RULE*) for breakfast at lunchtime. With a hangover. Wearing the clothes I had on the night before. Come on, you know what I’m talking about. DINK. There I said it! That would include two things I no longer am, childless and gainfully employed. Did I ever even do that stuff?
And yet now I sit, on a Sunday night, hanging out on Twitter and drinking whatever leftover wine I can find in the house (yes, all mixed together in one glass). If you were to ask me 5 or 10 years ago where I’d be today, I can tell you my answer would be different. I honestly don’t even know what my answer would have been. Five years ago I was in my craft store, and ten years ago I wasn’t (re)married yet. I can honestly say I have no clue where I’ll be in five years from now. At that point both kids will be in school (hurray for Kindergarten) and I will have more flexibility in my daytime work schedule. I will actually be able to work during the day instead of waiting until someone else is home nights/weekends to stay with the kiddies so I can ‘do my thing’. I need to be driving a white Mercedes-Benz convertible, that much I know.
I’m no domestic goddess, and I feel guilty for not being content with the ‘stay at home mom’ title. There are plenty of parents that would love to tell their boss to kiss off and stay home with their kids and rule the PTA. I want to stay home with my kids, but I also want to work and have meaningful adult conversations (in person, sorry Twitter). I want blow my paycheck on a Kate Spade tote and a pair of boots that only match one outfit. Yes I work, but on the computer and within the confines of my own home because I just can’t deal with childcare. Preschool I have no problem with, but the baby is only 12 months old and I can’t let him go until he can speak clearly to me and let me know if there are any issues. //Insert helicopter mom reference here.// It’s been a long time coming but I’m slowly realizing I can’t have it all. Maybe some people can, but I can’t stretch myself that thin. Or maybe I can have it all, just not at the same time. In any case, you will have to wade through the muck of my blog that deal with this dichotomy of goals and interests, and keep a look out for when I finally figure out what the hell I’m doing. I’d like to say parenting is easy, but it’s not. Every day I risk causing some error with my kids that will turn them into maladjusted adults and placing me in a shitty nursing home. So for now I shut up and deal with the dreary lack of shoe and handbag collection and raise my kids the best way I know how. But I promise one of these days I will be back at eating breakfast-for-lunch with some girlfriends wearing the most adorable boots – minus the hangover.
Disclaimer: I love my kids and they are awesome, so don’t go leaving nasty comments and reporting me to Child Social Services. 🙂 Read my blog, you all know that my kids rock. They also test my skills as a human being and make me much smarter, more loved, and more humble than I could ever hope to be on my own. But, you know, sometimes I would love to be *Lynette* for a weekend and not “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom………”